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Reasonable Rants: Open/Concealed carry in Peoria IL: "If you are not from the area you probably don't know this. But in my city there has been a crazy amount of shooting this year (mostly summe..."

Funny Chuckles

Well i'm going on my lovely relaxing yearly beach holiday for a week now so i thought i'd leave you with a few thing's that have made me chuckle this week:

1.Well you see this cute little puppy dog you see here...... dont be fooled. he is so destructive i dont understand how one little dog can do so much damage but i think i will write an entire post on him soon. He made me chuckle yesterday, i left him in his basket for 2 minutes whilst i went to the bathroom, i came back to find my hand cream, tissues, body spray and a biscuit wrapper in his basket with him, these item were all in my handbag so he must have gone and stuck his head right in to get these and made more the one trip..... the cheeky sod. i love him though, who wouldn't.

2. Pink and her new word replacing game

Was listening to the Scott Mills show on Radio one yesterday and they read out an update from pink on twitter how she had made some new game up where you replace the word heart with butt so been bored at work today i managed to find some song titles and it cracked me up a bit have a read....

David Bowie - The Heart Never Lies would be The Butt Never lies

Chris Brown - Heart to Heart would be Butt to Butt

The Echoing Green - Deep inside my heart would be Deep inside my Butt

Manic Street Preachers - you stole the sun from my heart would be you stole the sun from my butt

Elvis presley - Wooden heart would be wooden butt

Madonna - open your heart would be open your butt

Kylie minogue -hand on your heart would be hand on your butt

Eurithmics - there must be an angel (playing with your heart) would be (there must be an angel playing with you butt)

3. YOU'VE LOST YOUR MOJO

Now this made me giggle, i work in healthcare so i have to speak to a variety of different people everyday about different health problems, most of the time it's pretty boring but then you do get the odd few that you cant help but laugh at.

My collegue took this call from a man who said he'd lost his sexual performance and wasn't intereted in making love to his wife anymore well maybe it's your could look like this:

and if not well i think you need to see a shrink because what man doesn't want to have sex, it's like instilled into them at birth it's all most of them care about. they think withtheir manhood before their brains. but the best part of it was guess what his name was.....

MR BADCOCK!!!

4. Now this made me laugh out loud when a friend of mine told me this.

Four of my male friends decided to pop to Asda after a trip to the gym, one of them Brodders as we call him decided for some reason he wanted to buy one of those ready made cooked roast chickens (dont ask he is special)

so anyway off they go in their cars only Brodders decides he doesn't want his chicken anymore because it's burnt so opens the window launches the chicken at some poor random people just minding their own business only to be knocked out by a roast chiken hitting their head, yes thats right he could of really injured someone with a roast chicken! Death by Chiken... hilarious

5. And finally i read in THE SUN newspaper this week that a man held up a bank in NEW YORK this week but dressed as Darth Vaider from Star wars

'instead if a lightsaber the theif started waving around a semi-automatic hand gun and shouted this is not a joke'

and a member of the public said

'all of a sudden i saw this guy with a mask running past the window . it was pretty crazy he had the whole outfit on'

Mother I just dont want to know thanks!

Has anyone else ever noticed at anytime in their lives that you become the mother and your mother becomes like a hormonal teenager?

I Love my mother very much but lately it's like looking at me 10 years ago.

I found her giggling at the computer the other day and i asked what was amusing her, 'oh nothing i'm just speaking to this bloke on msn'

MSN!!! my mother on msn, what..... is this actually allowed but it gets worse....

Her face then went all red and i again said what has he said now ' oh he's just been very suggestive' suggestive..... so dirty basicly, so my mother the woman who i am supposed to look upto is been dirty with a man she hasnt met on the internet.

Then i go and sit by her as she wants to show me something (un-related) and he pops up and has typed something else and before i can see she closes the window and says 'your not looking at that'

At this point i get up and walk out the room and say

'Mother i just dont want to know. Thanks!'

Really and i'm sorry for anyone reading this who thinks i'm been a bit OTT but come guy's it's my mother i know it happens but i dont think about it and i most centainly DO NOT want to hear about it or discuss it with her.

A problem Shared is a problem Halved right?.... or so you'd think!

This is not the case with a paticular friend of mine......

I am all for sitting down to my friends problems even if they do go on and on and repeat the same thing like a rusty saw that in the end i just nod, smile, hug , comfort etc, whilst i think about what to wear on my hot date later. And i'm really sorry for any of my friends reading this you know i love you all dearly very much because i know you return the favor to me and i am well i'd say the worl'd worst at repeating my problems and not listening to your advice and then realising you were right the hard way like been smacked in the face by a double decker bus!!!

However i have a friend who takes this to another level, well more towards another mate of mine, we dont hear off her for months and then she gets in touch when she is having problems and is hysterical like a baby, and like me she listens to the advice but doesnt take it in and then calls back a few weeks later and is still going on about the same thing.

she has always been like this ever since school, i feel like throttling her and saying grow up for god sakes woman, your acting more immature than a premature child!!

I have said to my other friend the best thing to do is just take everything she says with a pinch of salt, you see we think she is attention seeking and i dont actually think she can help it (i know that sounds harsh) but i'm bored of listening to the same old rubbish....

'you can change your life you know, life is what you make it and if you constantly moan about it and not doing anything, it's not going to get better sweetie'

But the most and absoloute annoying thing ever abotu this whole situation is, if my other friend who listens to her as opposed to me tried talking to her about her issues she manages to turn around back to her problems.

'A problem shared is a problem halved but only if you give something back'

You cant take, take, take all the time or you will find no want to give to you anymore!!!

I'm giving up on giving to this one until she learns to change her ways!!!

Sleep by Ex

Well there I was trying to get yet another night sleep unsuccessfully and listening to the rain hammering downon the window which is meant to be quite relaxing.... well it was but I still couldn’t get to sleep.

I always wonder why I am tired all day, say to myself I’m going to go to bed early and can't wait to leave work, then when I get to into bed I don’t feel tired and just lie there thinking about everything and this frustrates me a lot!! If anyone has any tips on how to get to sleep please will you let me know and counting sheep is not acceptable.

Anyway I thought I’d cure my sleeplessness by browsing facebook for a bit, opened this up to find a name in the chat box I hadn’t spoken to in over a year, I was a little reluctant to speak to him but kind of curious at the same time you see he was the ex boyfriend who I hadn't seen or spoken to since we split up, was I going to open a can of worms here? I mean I know I couldn’t sleep but did I really want to argue if he brought up old issues I mean we didn’t exactly part on good terms really, was this good idea I thought.
What can I loose if he doesn't reply I said to myself to me then well we won’t bother with him again?

'Hello?' I said, reply : 'hey'

The conversation was a little awkward and it seemed he didn't really want to engage conversation, I can't imagine what this would of been like face to face but at least he spoke to me right?
There’s one thing he did do however I seemed to be able to sleep after speaking to him, so maybe that’s what I need to do in future talk to ex boyfriends and past flames for an easier nights sleep

Attraction or no attraction??

I have realized that lately I have acquired many male friends and as much as I love male company, one does wonder if it is purely friendship. Can you just be friends with a member of the opposite sex? It really has made me consider if secretly I have a crush on them and I don’t realize or do they have a crush on me and are too shy to say maybe one of them is the one and I’ve just met them at the wrong time who knows? For example lets call him male friend number one, the nice guy, always gives you a compliment and makes you feel good about yourself, always makes time for you and will do anything for you, he is very sweet and you know deep down he’s the type of guy your mum would love you know when they say ‘oh what a nice boy’ and your dad would approve of as he doesn’t possess any piercings. I love spending time with this guy, I can cuddle up and watch a film and know he’s not going to try anything but then all of a sudden the other day we were talking on his sofa and I thought this guy would make a lovely partner, someone to settle down with and then thought or is he just being all sweet because he likes me and then this thought went away and I carried on and put it to the back of my mind, am I been paranoid?
Now male number two is the kind of guy you can completely be yourself with, he’s a one of those real men who have to prove their manliness by doing manly things like drink beer, watch football and shouting at the TV when a player doesn’t score a goal (he cant hear you, youknow) so if you want be a little bit more at home and in your comfort zone spending time with him allows this and also gives me a mans way of thinking about situations I’ve been in but then I sometimes think am I attracted to him because I can totally be myself and confide in him? It’s like I’m one of the lads when I’m in his company so maybe I’m been pretty silly thinking that we’re anything but friends.


Then the other hand you have the ‘male friends with benefits’ now problem with these is you have to be careful not to get tied up in your emotions which I have a terrible problem with, someone always wants more and its generally me but then if it’s the latter I don’t want to hurt the other person either, these guys are great release for me, I can just hang with them, flirt with them and have a load of fun but then am I wanting more sub consciously? The thing is friends or not friends these men play important parts of my life for different reasons so I feel maybe I should just let nature take its course and not think about things too much.
But on a final note friends who are there for you through thick and thin, weather male or female should be kept close to your heart.